The Squirrel Trial

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  • Mouse
    Administrator
    • Jul 2025
    • 461

    #1

    The Squirrel Trial

    The courtroom was thick with tension. Judge Abernathy, known for his harsh sentences, stared down at the defendant, a squirrel named Squeaky.
    "Mr. Squeaky," the judge boomed, "you have been found guilty by a jury of your peers. The evidence is overwhelming. We have eyewitness testimony, video footage, and a pile of 8,000 empty peanut shells"

    Squeaky's tiny paws trembled. "But Your Honor," he chattered, "I'm just... I'm just a squirrel!" The judge adjusted his robes. "That is no excuse, sir. This court has heard how you meticulously, over a period of six months, emptied every single bird feeder in the tri-county area."

    Squeaky took a deep breath. "Yes, Your Honor. I'd like to change my plea to insanity." The judge raised an eyebrow. "Insanity? On what grounds, Mr. Squeaky?" Squeaky gestured wide, first at the evidence table and then at himself. "Your Honor, on the grounds that my nuts are literally on display for this entire courtroom!" zz0.k70hynvpaljzz
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